30 August 2016

Freedom - From Medie

I had never been so excited to get away as I was when I heard that our family would be going on a camping trip. I started to imagine what the trip would be like. I imagined staring into an open space and breathing in the fresh air of Botswana. I imagined watching the sun set oh-so-perfectly below the western horizon. I imagined the adults, joyfully chatting away around the campfire whilst keeping an eye on the children roasting marshmallows for S'Mores. 
Saturday afternoon came and after hours of eagerly waiting to leave, the cars pulled out of my uncle's yard and onto the road leading to the middle of nowhere. 
I soon grew impatient as the journey was taking longer than I expected. Unable to read a book in fear of getting car sick, I leaned against the window, closed my eyes and drifted away. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the Caravelle finally entered the gates of what would be home for the weekend. I stepped out of the car and admired the sunset that glowed behind the perfectly-aligned khaki tents. I said my hellos then headed straight for the table that had a selection of foods, snacks and drinks to choose from. 

Night fell, and the ombré of the salmon- pink sky transformed into blackness, dotted with several stars. Everyone slowly began to shuffle their camp chairs towards the campfire that was the only source of warmth in the open space.

I stared at this fire, so engrossed in its beauty. It was as if I had never seen a fire before. The glowing flames danced almost in rhythm to my brother's trap music blasting from the speakers of a Land Rover parked 10 metres away. The flickering embers reminded me of shooting stars and how I always hoped to see one as a kid. That night, the embers were my shooting stars. I wished to be free. 

The night was so dark that it was difficult for us to make our way around without the help of a paraffin lamp dimly illuminating the ground before us.

 But I liked this darkness. No sign of a street lamp or a building. It was calming. It obliterated the memories and stresses that come with day. In the darkness, anything seemed possible. There's no daylight to tell you that what you see and believe is not true. The darkness hides your flaws and your fears. Everything switches off except your soul. You're totally invisible to the people around you. You can do the things you would never do if the sun was up. It ignites a fire within you. You become the light. I couldn't help but think....Is this what freedom feels like? 
This whole being away thing. It made me realise...as much as I'd wanted to get away from the daily demands of society, I didn't want to be "away" forever. This whole time I had been thinking that I would finally feel a sense of Liberty out in an open space with the moon as my only friend. That I'd be released from a load that I was bearing.... But that couldn't be further from the truth.
I walked closer to the fire. I walked so close that I could feel my insides beginning to cook. I tried examining the flames and how they managed to glow so effortlessly. Maybe that's what freedom looks like? Having that effortless glow from within. 

Wait...I think I finally got it... But...

Before I try to redefine freedom and what it would feel like...I want you to let me know. What would/does freedom mean to you? 

Until next time,
Peace. Love. 
K xx 
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