19 March 2015

How To Be A Londoner

Hello everyone! 

Sorry for the lack of posts this week! To make it up to you, I'll give you something to relate to/to laugh about:


I'm sure you know that London is a busy city, with thousands of daily immigrants. I, myself, was one of them in 2012. 
After two and a bit years, I have managed to come up with the perfect guide to being a Londoner, for all you newbies out there! 
Without wasting anymore of your time, lets get into it! 

1) Don't leave your house without your oyster card. 

london oyster card



For those of you who don't know, an oyster card is a card that is used for public transport (buses and trains) around the city. If you don't have your Oyster Card and there is no tube station nearby where you can get one, stay at home. 
Seriously. 
I would rather leave my bank card and my phone at home, rather than my oyster card.

2) Check the weather to see if it's going to rain. Haha, just kidding. It always rains. 

rain


3) Give directions 

directions


If you have been in London for over a year and you are yet to give directions to a lost tourist, sorry but you're doing it wrong, bro. 

Giving directions is like being awarded a certificate of Londonism. (Yes, I made up a word) 

4) Walk at the speed of lightning. 

fast cheetah london

Ain't NO LONDONER  got time to walk like normal people. 

5) Get annoyed at people who walk slow on Oxford Street. 

london regents street


If you have been to Oxford Street, you know what I'm talking about. Or any other busy street, for that matter. The thousands of people walking on the street is bad enough, but when they walk so slowly and drag their feet, it's even worse. 

To be a Londoner, you have to either yell EXCUSE ME and *politely* move people out of your way, or just find a way to overtake them, even if it means that a couple has to let go of each other's hands to let you get through. 

6) Hate the weather 



To be a Londoner, you have to hate the weather. The rainy days, the 2 minutes of fake sunshine per year, the biting wind, the wetness, the fog, the hail, and those days when it's a combination of all sorts of weather, 

If you absolutely LOVE the London weather. Sorry, you're not a Londoner. 

7) Don't make eye contact with anyone. 



Seriously. Look at the sky or at the ground. Not at anybody. Even that attractive person facing you in the tube. Don't. If you do, you're a daredevil. 

8) Don't pay attention to the famous landmarks. 

london landmarks

A non- Londoner: Wow! Big Ben! 
Londoners: *Checks time and keeps walking*

9) Actually care about what you wear. 

cute high heels

As much as I say I don't care about what I wear, I do. Gone are the days when I would wear sweatpants and a hoodie and think I was fashionable. 

In London, you are competing with fashion designers, fashion bloggers, and general fashionistas. 

10) Go on a night bus. 

london public transport


I don't care how rich you are or how many Uber taxis you've taken. If you haven't been on a London night bus, you're not a Londoner.


So those are 10 ways to be a Londoner. If you live in London, do you consider yourself a Londoner?

Until Next Time,

Peace.




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